


He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

by BecaAMM



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angel Wings, Angelcest, Angelic Incest?, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Brother-Sister Relationships, Castiel Has Secrets, Castiel Has a Crush, Castiel In Love, Dean Ships It, Developing Relationship, Does Sam has a crush?, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Is is incest?, Quote: I learned that from the pizza man, Reader in Love, Relationship(s), Sam Has A Soul, Slow Build, Slow Burn, The Pizza Man, Wing Kink, Wingfic, Wings, angel reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-03 08:08:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10239827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BecaAMM/pseuds/BecaAMM
Summary: You always thought your feelings towards your brother were wrong and one-sided. Little do you know he feels the same way about you.





	1. He loves me, he loves me not

You were an angel of the Lord living on Earth for thousands of years, guarding humans who deserved it from time to time, but hiding for the most part of it. You haven’t be in heaven in thousands of years, afraid of them to know the truth about you and your feelings towards your own brother. 

Against every odd, against every implied rule, you were in love with Castiel, your brother, ever since you were decades old, learning your duties with him in heaven. For centuries you've hidden your feelings from him under his nose, but a time came when you couldn’t look at him and not desire him anymore, so you ran away.

Thousands of years later, you were hiding among humans when you lost your grace and encountered him again. Now, you were in the bunker, living with the Winchesters and Castiel, saving the world from monsters and demons and deceiving your feelings once again.

“Y/N?” You heard Dean’s voice.

Silently, you appeared in the room with a flap of your wings, surprising the Winchester.

“You could have just walked here” He stated. “You angels…”

You ignored his complains.

“Is my assistance needed?” 

Sam nodded quickly, showing you a book. 

“Do you know anything about this symbol?”

When you leaned down, Sam’s hand touched your wrist softly, and you felt Cass’ eyes lading where your skins touched each other.

“It looks Hindu.” You decided after a long look, and used your grace to bring a pair of books you knew could help to the table. “Here. Those books may have an answer.”

You sat by his side, grabbing one of them and opening it.

* * *

 

  
Castiel watched as you read beside he younger Winchester. Sam was always showing affection towards you, and the angel didn’t feel good about. There was something about him touching his sister that made him bothered and angry, but he didn’t want to think about the reason.

“Am I the only one seeing it?” Dean called his attention.

“ _It_?”

Dean rolled his eyes.

“My brother and your sister.” He pointed. “They are a match.”

Castiel frowned.

“No, they’re not.” He spat back, standing up and leaving you three alone in the map room. 

A small amount of angels had relationships with other angels. Once, that was a taboo, but centuries after you left heaven it had slowly become normal. But it didn’t change the fact that he was ashamed of his feelings for you; not because they were wrong, but because he thought you would never see him like more than just another brother.

See you with Sam… It was painful. It made him want to take you in his arms and fly away so you could be alone together. 

“Castiel?” He heard you for a moment inside his head. “Is there any problem? You looked disturbed.” 

“No, sister.” He lied. “I’m just intrigued by the hunt.”

You stood in silence for a long moment before answering. 

“Do you trust me, brother?” 

Castiel was surprised by the question.

“With my life.” He didn’t hesitate.

Your next words and the sad tone in your voice echoed painfully inside him.

“Then why do lie to me?” 

To that, he had no answer.


	2. Blue Wings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have a problem with your wings. Castiel offers help.

You moved your shoulders slightly, feeling how your wings missed being completely stretched out. You had just gotten them back, just like the other angels who were restoring their glory, and you knew they needed to be groomed, something you haven’t done in ages. 

“You’re in pain,” Castiel noticed, his voice worried inside your head. 

“My wings,” you explained, “I think I’m flying wrong.“ 

“I don’t think there’s a way of flying wrong,” he pointed out. 

“I didn’t fly for thousands of years,” you reminded him. “I’ve lost practice.“ 

Silently, Cass appeared by your side. 

“Is there anything I can do?" 

You blushed slightly, but nodded. 

"I need a mirror,” you decided. “I need to see what’s happening.”

He left for a moment, appearing with a hand mirror and and a bigger version he could hold. 

 "Can you…” you hesitated, “can you close your eyes?“ 

Castiel frowned, but complied. 

No one had laid eyes on your wings in thousands of years, and the fact that you were still restoring your grace just made you feel weirder and more insecure about them. 

Closing your own eyes, you carefully stretched one of your wings, and then the other one, hissing at the ache in the bones and muscles. You used your mirror to look at your feathers, seeing how they were messy with knots, things their light blue colour only highlighted. 

"Can I open my eyes now?” Castiel inquired, and you looked at him. 

Behind you, the other angel had his eyes firmly shut. 

“Yes." 

He opened his eyes silently, and his gaze connected with yours. 

”(Y/N)…" 

“I know. They look terrible." 

"They are beautiful,” he corrected you. “Your wings have always been the most beautiful pair our Father has ever made." 

Reaching out, he touched the inside of your left wing before he could stop himself, and you moaned at his warm touch. 

Castiel jumped back when he felt the softness of your feathers. Only an angel’s mate was supposed to touch their wings. 

"I need to go.” He dropped the mirror, leaving before you could say anything.

What had you done?


	3. The Pizzaman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You hear Castiel thinking of a pizzaman and a babysitter, so you ask the Winchester what it means.

“Sam?” You called, making the Winchester raise his head.

“Yes?” He smiled sweetly.

“What is a pizzaman?”

He frowned at your question.

“It is a man who delivers pizza.”

You nodded slowly and the human man went back to his book, concentrating on it and wearing a small frown on his face.

You opened your mouth for a moment, but noticed how he needed silent, so decided to look for Dean and found him in the kitchen, eating a slice of pie.

“Dean?”

“Yes, sweetheart?” He looked up at you.

“What is a babysitter?”

The look in his eyes was similar to Sam’s when he stared at you.

“It’s someone who takes care of kids.” He explained.

You frowned to yourself. You couldn’t understand what the babysitter had to do with the pizzaman.

“Young humans are very fragile.” You noticed, sitting beside him.

“Yes, we are.” He nodded, eating. “Haven’t you live among humans for centuries?”

“Well, yes.” You rested your hands on your lap. “But I was alone.”

“The whole time?” He frowned, surprised.

“Yes.”

Dean didn’t say anything, moving back to his pie before looking at your again.

“Why do you ask? About the babysitter, I mean.”

You shrugged.

“I heard Cas thinking of it. Something to do with a pizzaman and a babysitter.”

Dean’s eyes widened and he coughed, the pie literally leaving his mouth. 

“What?” He exclaimed.

“The pizzaman and the babysitter.” You explained. “I just don’t know why he wanted to be the pizzaman and…”

“Sweetheart.” He cleaned his throat. “Do you… Shit.” He took a deep breath. “Do you know anything about sex?”

You frowned. Was he taking you as a fool? You wanted to know about the pizzaman and the babysitter, not about human reproduction.

“What does it have to do with the pizzaman and the babysitter?”

Dean sighed.

“Well, the pizzaman is a man, and the babysitter is woman. And they had sex.”

“So you have to be a pizzaman or a babysitter to have sex?” You frowned. “Is that how you humans reproduce?”

The man rubbed his hand on his face.

“No. Anyone can have sex with anyone as long as both the parts agree with the act.”

You nodded.

“So when Castiel was thinking of the pizzaman and the babysitter…”

“He was thinking of sex, yes.” He confirmed.

You nodded slowly, trying to put the pieces together.

So that meant…

No, of course not.

“Thank you, Dean.” You stood up.

> Cas was thinking of how he wanted to be the pizzaman, and wanted you to be the babysitter. Did that mean he wanted to have sex with you?


	4. The babysitter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You think of how you're gonna confront Castiel.  
> You share your first kiss.

You never really understood humans, even after leaving on Earth for so long or with two of them for months.

Dean was one to have one-night-stands with pretty girls, and Sam was a bit less like that, but both of them would go out to bars. Even no trying, you would hear their lustful thoughts about other women, but none of them ever manifested any desire to reproduce.

So, why intercourse?

Castiel thinking about intercourse with you only made you more confused.

Why would he want to do it you?

“Y/N. Y/N?” You heard and looked up, your eyes meeting Sam above you.

“Yes?”

“Are you okay?” He frowned.

You didn’t know how to answer. Cas was your brother, someone you should never lust after. And, yet, he was apparently lusting after you?

What were you supposed to do now?

“Sam…” You took a breath.

But you didn’t know what to say.

“Yes?’ He looked at you.

You stood in silence for a long moment, frowning at your own feelings.

“I… No.” You decided.

“No?” He frowned.

“I’m not okay.” You decided, standing up.

You needed to see Castiel.

Before Sam couldn’t say anything else, you were already outside the bunker, pacing around nervously.

“Castiel.” You called, out loud. “Castiel.”

You waited, your hands rubbing against each other and your mind rushing without control.

“Y/N?” He appeared in front of you.

You stared at him, not even knowing what to say.

“Cas…” You stared at him.

He frowned, not understanding the rush of thoughts you were shooting at him without control.

“What is happening?” He insisted. “Why are you…”

“You want me to be the babysitter.” You pointed.

Cass’ eyes widened and his jaw dropped slightly for a moment.

“Sam told me a pizzaman is a man who delivers pizza.” You affirmed. “And Dean said a babysitter is someone who takes care of human children. He also said that pizzamen have sex with babysitters.” You continued. “Humans have sex for the sake of having sex, because they feel pleasure and not always want to reproduce, because human children are very fragile.”

He frowned at you, trying to understand what you meant.

“You were thinking that you wanted to be the pizzaman and wanted me to be the babysitter.” You looked him in the eye. “Is this correct? You want me to be the babysitter?”

Castiel stared at you, silently and alarmed.

“I’m so sorry.” He finally said. “I’m… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t… I should never…” He got lost in his words. “I won’t ever…”

But before he could even finish a sentence, you laced his shoulders and kissed his lips for a full moment. You hesitated and moved away when he didn’t respond, but Cass quickly held your waist with his firm hands and guided you to a slow, passionate kiss.

You melted under his hands, finally living something you have dreamed of for thousands of years.

You were kissing Castiel. The one you loved for almost your whole life.

Your brother.

You pulled away when the last thought passed your mind.

“Y/N.” Castiel stared when his bright eyes fell into yours, but you didn’t give him time to speak.

You were already gone.


	5. Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After 5 thpusand years, ypu finally visit Heaven.  
> Things couldn't be more different than you expected.

You took a deep breath when your feet touched the ground.

Heaven

You hadn’t been there in ages. Five thousand years to be more exact.

“Y/N?” You heard behind you. “Y/N, you’re here!”

You turned around, surprised to head Izabelle’s voice.

“Where have you been?” Your sister questioned. “It’s so been so long.”

You stared at her, frowning when your hands met.

“You’re different.” You pointed, and then looked around. “Everything is different.”

She smiled.

Izabelle was older than you, someone you used to trust and had constant contact with, Of course, that was before you left.

“Y/N… Things had changed.” She looked at you, sweetly. “Heaven isn’t the same.”

You stared at her face.

She was visually different, but you couldn’t put your finger on what.

“I’m mated.” She stated, seeing how you stared at her figure.

“Mated?” You frowned.

She nodded.

You couldn’t understand.

Her wings were larger, and slightly darker. The colour now reminded you of someone else’s wings, like they were forged together and then separated.

“With Israel.” Izabelle explained.

Yes. You could see Israel’s wings on hers.

You stared at her.

“How… Why?” You muttered. “I thought…”

You were lost, not having any idea of what to say or how to react.

“He’s your brother. Our brother.”

She frowned, still smiling.

“And now he’s my mate.” She pointed. “You were gone for long. Five thousand years.”

You didn’t have any words left.

“There’s nothing wrong.” She affirmed.

You sat down on the ground, and she reached out for a moment.

“I kissed Castiel.” You looked up at her. “And I don’t know what to do now.”

She stared down at you, her elegant features softening when she realized you were still attached to the rules you thought existed thousands of years ago.

“There’s nothing wrong with love, sister.” She affirmed. “You shouldn’t be ashamed.”

You hesitated.

“Where’s Father?” You asked,

Some people considered you a special angel. Your Father usually didn’t have time to all of his sons and daughter, but he always tried to make time for you.

And after all that mess…

“Not here.” She took a breath.

You had no one to turn to now.

“I need to leave.” You decided, standing up.

“Y/N.” She held you by your arm. “Please, come back. We miss you, we _all_ do.”

“I need time.” You stated. “I’m happy for your mate.”

With a flap of wings, you landed on the room you called yours in the bunker, sitting down on the floor.

Everything you believed, everything you’ve hold on to… You were wrong, so dead wrong.

“Y/N.” You heard Castiel’s voice outside your door.

“Leave.” You said before he could say anything.

“But…”

“Leave.” You repeated. “I want to be alone.”


	6. Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel worries if you’re ever coming back.

Castiel paced around the bunker map room.

You were gone for two weeks now, and no one knew anything about your location. He was anxious and worried. The last time you did that, you spent thousands of years away.

“Dude, what happened?” Dean uncrossed his arms. “She can’t just leave without a reason.”

Castiel brushed, thinking about the kiss you’ve shared. You had came back to the bunker for a moment, but left when he insisted on talking to you.

“Nothing happened.” He lied.

The brothers frowned, quickly noticing how he wasn’t telling the truth.

“Cass.” Dean insisted.

The angel stared at him, and the hunter took a breath.

“Give us a moment, Sammy.” He looked at his brother.

Sam didn’t understand, but left the same way, knowing Dean would talk to him about what happened later.

“Look., I know the whole older brother…”

“We kissed.” He interrupted the Winchester.

Dean’s eyes widened.

“I’m sorry, what?” He exclaimed.

“We kissed.” The angel reaffirmed. “She started talking about the pizzaman and the babysitter, and all I could think was how I wanted her to be _my_ babysitter, and then our lips were together. I don’t know how that happened, or…”

He continued talking with less and less sense leaving his lips.

“Wait a minute.” Dean raised his hand. “You two kissed.”

“Yes.” He confirmed.

“I’m sorry, you and _your sister_ kissed.” He pointed.

“Angels aren’t like humans, Dean.” Castiel corrected him. “We can have relationships. TYhere are mates in heaven, but the point it: She left.”

Dean uncrossed his arms.

“So you think she left because of the kiss.” He stated, slowly.

“Yes.”

Dean took a deep breath, trying not to freak over what the angel had told him.

“Did you try the angel radio?”

“I did. She’s nowhere to be found.”

They stood in silence, and the hunter sighed.

“Do you…” He cleaned his throat, trying not to sound weird. “Do you love her?”

“I believe I love her.” He corrected him. “I realized that when I was human.”

Dean’s face fell in comprehension.

“Is there anything we can do?”

Castiel shook his head.

The man walked away, leaving the angel alone to his own thoughts.

When night came, Castiel walked to you room, stopping on the door, and sighing before walking to his own room.

But when he opened the door, his blue eyes widened in surprise.

You were sat on his bed.


	7. Found (NSFW)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Castiel finally give in to your feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tiredness made me post the wrong chapter hahaha. Sorry guys.

Castiel took a breath, closing the door behind him.

“Y/N, I’m…”

But before he could say anything, you kissed him.

This time, Castiel held you ever tighter, holding your sides strongly, trying to keep you as close as possible while his lips devoured yours.

Out of his own control, his hands travelled your skin, his fingertips meeting your navel, and he sighed with the feeling of your own skin.

“Cas.” You gasped against his lips.

You were panting when he pulled away.

“You were gone for weeks.” He whispered, his eyes above yours. Your vessel was shorter than his, and his own celestial form was bigger than yours, which always made you feel small and protected by his side.

“I’m sorry.”

“I was afraid I would never see you again.” He insisted.

“I was scared.” You stated, aware of how his fingers were still caressing your skin.

“You don’t have to be.” He said back, frowning deeply. “I thought you despised me.”

“I love you.” You corrected him.

Castiel’s face brightened in surprise and a smile appeared on his lips.

“I always did.” You continued “When I lost my wings, when I lost my _grace…_ You were the only one I could think about, the only one I loked for.

He touched your face, rubbing his thumb up and down your left cheek.

“I craved you. I needed you, I still do.” You breathed out.

Cas breath was everything you could hear while your own thoughts ran insane.

“I visited heaven, and everything is different. Izabelle is mated now, the angels are… Finding love in each other.”

He waited as you shook your head, trying to make sense.

“I always thought it was wrong.” You stated. “I didn’t think I could want you. _That’s why I left_.”

“You should have told me.”

You pressed your face against his touch, closing your eyes.

“I love you too.” He whispered. “I always did.”

You approached him again, and you shared a slow, passionate kiss.

A shiver ran up your spin when you felt his hand sliding on your hair, pulling you closer with a strong grip, and something hard and warm poked your lower stomach.

Cas pulled you up, helping you as your wrapped your legs around his waist. A weird, warm feeling was happening between your legs, and you needed something between then.

Unaware of you oblivious state, Cas trusted his hips forward against yours, and you broke a kiss when I moan left your mouth, at the ame time you landed on the mattress. 

“Castiel.” You head fell back before you could control yourself.

You needed more of that.

“I’m sorry.” You exclaimed when you realised what you’ve done, covering your face with your hands in embarrassment.

“Don’t be.” He groaned, moving your hands away and making your look at his face.

His blue eyes were black with a feeling you couldn’t explain.

“What is this?” You inquired, your voice thick.

“It is human.” He explained, his right hand slowly entering your shirt and climbing the way up as he kissed your neck. “They call it arousal.”

You gasped when he reached the centre of your chest.

“How…” You felt a small spasm when his large hand covered your breast. “How is this supposed to feel?”

“Your nipples.” He touched your bud, using his thumb to circle it with a look you’ve never seen in his eyes. “They get hard.”

You gasped under his thumb, not understanding what was happening to you.

“Your whole body is awake.” He used his other hand to lift your shirt and expose your chest to thin air, opening your bra ne letting your skin feel the air. “You crave something you can’t explain.”

He leaned down, taking your left nipple between his lips, and you arched your back. The feeling was unbelievable, and you could feel it on your whole body, like electricity was running inside you.

“Castiel.” You ran your hand up his neck, holding his dark thick hair. “More.”

You could fell Cas smile against your skin.

“How does that feel?” He muttered against your skin.

“My skin is on fire.” You tried to describe. “You lips… Castiel!” You exclaimed again when his teeth touch your sensitive and hard nipple.

“Don’t stop.” He instructed, his blue eyes looking straight into yours. “Please, Y/N. Tell me.”

“I need…” You gasped. “I need it.”

“What do you need?” He inquired.

You shook your head.

“I don’t know.”

He looked up at you, then climbed his lips back to yours. Cas kissed you gently, positioning himself between your legs and trusting his hips against your core.

“Is it what you need?” He muttered against your lips.

You moaned at the friction.

“Yes.” You moaned, trusting your hips up in order to feel it again. “Castiel, please.”

He rubbed his nose up and down your neck.

“Move your hips against mine.” He instructed.

You tried, slowly, and gasped at the soft pleasure running your nerves.

“Yes.” You gasped. “That’s… Castiel, please.”

The denim of your jeans made your skin itch, and he quickly noticed that, pulling your pants off and caressing your legs softly.

“Cas.” You panted. “Cas, please… I need this.”

In front of your eyes, Castiel’s grace was running insane and yours probably wasn’t different. You could feel his whole skin under your own grace, and you gasped when his own grace touched the centre of your legs.

“What about this? Is this what you need?” He questioned again, and you felt the rub up and down your folds.

You were wet and throbbing for him, craving for something you couldn’t quite understand, just like he pointed.

“These bodies…” He muttered on your ear. “The humans… Father gave them something I never experienced before.”

You moaned when he pressed your clitoris, grabbing the sheets when you felt his grace flicking it.

“It’s a deep feeling.” He continued, his voice thick and even deeper. “Something that dominates your whole body, fills you up with arousal, the sweetest torture.”

You closed your eyes shut, the feeling inside you stronger and stronger.

“A need.” Castiel leaned down to take one of your nipples on his mouth again, licking and flicking it. “A peak.”

“Cas.” You couldn’t control your moans, and your lips rose on the air, looking for more friction.

“Open your eyes.” He ordered, authority pouring from his tone. “Look at me.”

You tried to obey, your gaze meeting his.

“I want to see you come undone.” He declared, his grace now caressing your nipples equally. “I want you to look at me when you do it, so you will always remember who gave you your first orgasm.”

You moaned loudly, your whole body trembling and moving out of your control with spasms, the throbbing sensation between your legs spreading and dominating your whole body.

“Castiel.” You moaned.

“Say my name. Y/N. Let everyone know who’s giving it to you.”

The feeling – the orgasm – was long and short at the same time, and your kept calling Castiel even after you came down, his grace still working softly on you before moving again.

You couldn’t describe how you felt, how your whole body felt, as you rested on the bed with your eyes closed. If angels could sleep, you would already be unconscious.

Castiel touched your face with his gentle hands, putting your hair behind your ear and smiling at the expression on your face.

“How do you feel?” He asked on a whisper.

You breathed slowly.

“I can’t describe.” You just whispered.

He smiled, and you opened your eyes to see him above you.

“Can I kiss you?”

You nodded quickly and he leaned down to kiss you gently.  

“I love you.” He whispered.

“I love you too.” You said back.

Cas touched your face slowly.

“I understand why humans do this all the time.” You whispered.

Cas chuckled, kissing your neck.

“I have more to show if you want to.” He muttered..

“I do.” You rushed. “Please, I do.”

Castiel laughed softly.

“Don’t worry.” He said again. “We have all the time of the world.”


	8. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean are still getting used to your relationship with Castiel. Your angel suggests you something new.

You felt Sam’s eye burning your skin, turning you eyes look at him and making the man lower his head.

In response, you looked at Castiel.

You were… _Together_.

That was the best  word to describe your relationship.

“So…” Dean cleaned his throat. “You are together now? _Mated_?”

Your eyes widened.

“Being someone’s mate is more than being together, Dean.” Cas interrupted him. “A mate is for life. Forever. It is not a decision to you make over a night.”

Sam arched his eyebrows in surprise.

“Guys, can I…” He shifted a little on his sear. “Can I ask you a couple of questions?”

You nodded.

“I’m not really getting it.” He affirmed. “I don’t want to be rude, but… You are…”

“Angel.” Castiel interrupted him. “Beings that aren’t attached to human rules or concepts of what’s right or wrong to your kind.”

You squeezed his hand. You knew the Winchesters were still a bit shaken by your relationships, – you could read their minds–, and Cas wasn’t happy with the way they were look at both of you.

“Sorry, Cas, but it is kind of hard to digest it.” Dean argued. “Yesterday you were brother and sister who had a fight. Now, you’re dating. Give a man a break.”

You looked at your own hands, your fingers now laced with the other angel’s.

“We’re not against it.” Sam affirmed. “Just give us some time to actually swallow it down, okay?”

“It is okay.” You affirmed. “Take your time.”

They nodded together and you looked at the angel by your side, mentally suggesting you should get out and give them a moment.

Holding you, he transported both of you to an open area, full of trees and nature.

“Y/N/N.” He pulled you, laying a kiss on your lips for a moment. “I’m…”

“Don’t say you’re sorry.” You interrupted him. “They need a moment. It is understandable.”

Castiel sighed, and you caressed his face with your fingertips. He was beautiful, shinning above you.”

“Y/N.” He muttered, touching your lips softly with his thumb. “Can I kiss you?”

You nodded slowly, feeling his hands travel down your body to find your waist.

He kissed you slowly, gently, and your eyes closed. You weren’t experienced in kisses. Castiel was the only one you have ever kissed in your life, and he seemed determined on teaching you everything he could.

“I want to show you something.” He muttered. “I learned it on a movie with the pizzaman.”

You nodded again, hesitant, and he went back on kissing you. Soon, you were laid on the grass with him between your legs.

“I want to fuck you with my tongue.” He affirmed, and your eyes grew wide. “Can I?”

“Yes.” You whispered. “Yes, please.”


	9. You Have Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Castiel finally have your first time

You swallowed down when Castiel laid you on the mattress, his large figure staying above yours for a moment before he finally kissed you, smiling when you circled his shoulders with your arms. Soon, his lips traced the way down your neck, shoulders and now naked collarbones.

His hand cupped your breasts and you sighed when his fingers brushed your nipple softly, teasing them and pinching them while watching your reactions.

“Beautiful.” He whispered, smiling to you.

You blushed, touching his hair with your hands and scratching his skin, making him moan softly.

Castiel kissed the way down to your breasts, tonguing your nipple gently and gripping your hips when you arched your back.

“Shh.” He moved his lips to the other side, circling your bud, sucking and nipping passionately, his eyes never leaving yours.

You arched your back when he bit the skin of your stomach and rubbed his stubble against your navel, opening your legs with his large hands and moving his fingers slowly to your inner thighs.

“I’m gonna make you feel good.”

“You always make me feel good.” You frowned. 

Castiel raised his head.

“It is called dirty talking.” He explained. “It is a human thing.”

You tilted your hair to the side.

“I don’t see the appeal.”

Your angel sat back for a moment, but his hands didn’t leave your skin.

“I want to lick you.” He said in enochian, and you felt a shiver running up your skin. “Want to bury my tongue inside you and taste you where no one had ever tasted you.”

 **Now** you could see the said appeal.

“I’ll make you orgasm on my mouth so many times you will forget your name and lose control of you peaks.”

You panted and Castiel smiled, leaning down and kissing your thighs softly, teasing your skin and making you shiver several times.

“Castiel, please.” You cried softly.

“ _Please_ what?” He questioned, his voice rough and thick.

“You know what I need.” You frowned.

“But I want you to say it.”

You panted.

“Please, touch me with your mouth, Castiel.” You whispered.

Your angel smiled, finally leaning down and kissing you navel.

“Here?” He whispered.

“Lower.” You gasped.

He smirked, lowering his lips a few inches above your folds.

“Here?” He teased again.

Your moved your hands to his head, but Castiel pinned them down.

“Please, Castiel.” You cried out, your head falling on the pillows. “Please, lick my folds. Make me feel good, please.”

You felt his smile against your skin, and a short scream left your mouth when he licked a long stripe over your wet aching core, covering your lips with your hands, ashamed.

With his grace, your angel pulled your hands.

“Don’t ever try to hide your sounds from me.”  He looked inside your eyes. “Okay?”

You nodded slowly, blushing, and he covered you completely with his mouth.

“Castiel.” You cried out.

He moaned against our skin, and you felt his grace rubbing your insides softly while he flicked your clit fast, like a kitten.

Just like the previous time he _played_ with you, you felt the weird knot forming in your insides, and buckled your hips against his mouth.

It was too good, even better than his hand and grace. His facial hair burned your skin in a pleasurable way.

“Cas… That feeling.” You put your hands on his head, your fingers tugging his hair. “It is coming again.”

“Come for me, my love.” He moaned against you. “Let me feel you.”

Minutes later, the knot broke, and you screamed in pleasure.

Castiel squeezed your hips tightly until your orgasm left your body, and moves slowly to look at your face.

“Cas, please.” You whispered, pulling his up to kiss him.  “I need you.”

“You have me.” He frowned.

“I need you inside me.” You squeezed his shoulders. “I need to feel you.”

He moaned softly from inside his throat, pulling your leg up and kissing you gently.

“Are you sure?” He asked.

You nodded.

In a blink of an eye, Cas’ clothes were gone and his warm skin came in contact with yours, making you gasp.

His naked figure against yours felt good and hot, and his erection was strong against your leg.

“Castiel.” You whispered, his shaft leaking something warm and thick against your skin. “Castiel, please.”

He moved his hand down to your folds, rubbing you softly and penetrating you with one finger.

“I need to prepare you.” He whispered. “Don’t want to hurt you.  You’ve never…“

“You won’t.” You whimpered, interrupting you. “Please, I need you.”

Gently, he held your hips and you spread your legs hesitantly. Leaning down, his lips met your breasts again, slowly and gently, positioning himself against you. Instead of penetrating you, thought, he started rubbing his shaft against you.

“ _Fuck_.” He groaned, not even realising he was cussing. “You’re so warm and wet.”

You gasped and whispered when your angel gripped his erection in his hand and rubbed its head against you clit for a long moment before pushing it against your entrance.

You voice died on your throat when you felt his first millimetres enter you. It was a weird feeling, like you were being… Filled.

But weren’t you?

“Fuck.” He groaned, his head falling in the crock of your neck. “So… Tight.” He exclaimed.

You moaned as he entered you slowly, feeling yourself stretch around him.

“So good.” He groaned against your skin and kissed your earlobe. “For thousands of years I dreamed of having you just for me. When I was human I couldn’t stop having those dreams about you.”

You gasped.

“Dreams?” You tried to keep your voice steady.

He stopped when he was completely inside you, waiting for you to adapt to the new feeling.

“You naked under me.” He looked inside your eyes. “Around me… Kissing me. Loving me.”

You swallowed down, speechless, but he didn’t wait for you to answer. With a slow and gently moved, he moved his hips and you moaned loud with the friction his movements caused.

“Always wanted to have you like this.” He whispered, kissing your neck. “Moaning and vulnerable for me.”

All you could do was moan.

Castiel moved slowly around you, careful not to hurt you. Soon, you two were just panting and moaning, and those were the only sound inside the room besides the skin slapping against skin and the sloppy kisses you shared.

You could just stay with him for hours like that. The feeling was overwhelming, so deeply intimate it actually scared you and made you need more at the same time.

Soon, the knot was back inside you, stronger than ever, and when Castiel realised that, he moved his hands to your clit, stroking it with the pad of his thumb.

“I want to feel you coming undone around me.” He whispered. “Want to have my little angel squeezing me inside her just like you did when I had my mouth on you.”

You pressed your nails against his back, moaning at the feeling that – this time – was stronger than you had ever experienced.

“Come undone for me.” He whispered. “Let me feel you. Come for me.”

You came with a long moan, and his eyes never left your face, drinking from your pleasure and trying to memorize the image in front of him.

When you came down, you leaned up and kissed his lips, biting his lips softly.

“Can I release myself inside you?” He whispered against your lips. “Can I fill you up?”

“Yes.” You whispered. “ Yes, Castiel. Please.”

You moaned, surprised, when his seed collided with your walls. It was thick and hot, and you couldn’t move your eyes from his face while Castiel moaned in delight.

He lied on top of you for a long moment, you two just panting like you never imagined an _angel_ could.

It took you seconds to recovery, but you stood there the same way.

“I love you.” He whispered against your ear.

“I love you too.” You caressed his back.

Slowly, Castiel removed himself from inside you and lied by your side.

“I love you.” He whispered again.


	10. Radio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is been a month. Castiel takes you to a trip.

“And you roll this button if you want to lower the volume.” Castiel explained patiently in front of the radio player. 

“So, using this, I can choose whatever I want to listen too?” You looked at him, surprised. 

“Yes, as long as it’s playing on the stations or you have the CDs.” 

Dean frowned. 

“You really have never used a radio player before?” He asked, surprised. 

“I never needed to.”

He exchanged a glance with his brother. 

“What did you do when you were alone? You _really_ was _all_ alone _all_ the time?’”

You shrugged. 

“I helped the Egyptians while they worked on the pyramids.” 

Dean’s jaw dropped for a moment. 

“Excuse me?’

You stepped aside, giving him space to step in, but Castiel quickly corrected you. 

“He means he’s confused.” Castiel whispered to you. 

“Oh.” You looked from him to the Winchester. “Well, I’ve gone things with humans from time to time. Pyramids and… Oh, I was painted once.”

Sam stared at you fopr a moment. 

“Are you serious?” 

“Yes. I was in my previous vessel in Italy. I believe you’ve heard about this painting, the Mona Lisa.”

The two brothers’ jaws dropped and Castiel chuckled at their faces touching your back softly. 

 _‘Touching for the sake of touching.’_ You reminded yourself. 

Castiel had leaned more about humans in a few years than you had learned in thousands of them, and sometimes showed their traces on his behaviour. 

“So…” Sam cleaned his throat. “It is been, what, a month since you guys are together?”

“Yes.” Your angel confirmed. 

You weren’t one to track time. Humans cared too much about it, but their lives were just a blink in existance. 

“Are you celebrating?” Dean gave you a grin. 

You couldn’t understand. 

“Are we supposed to?’ You frowned. 

He shrugged. 

“If you want to.” 

You looked at Castiel. 

“Do you want to?”

He didn’t answer and kissed your temple, and you leaned close to the display of affection. 

“Do you?” He finally replied. 

“Maybe.” 

* * *

 

Hours later, you were standing in the Eiffel Tower with a curious look besides your angel.

“Is this supposed to be romantic?” You inquired. 

Castiel had taken you there so you could spend the night after Sam said it was a romantic place to go, but to you it had no appeal. 

“I know this place.” You watched the view. “I lived here once.”

Reaching out, you pointed a finger to an area. 

“There. I had this house there and worked in that library.” You showed him. 

“For how long?”

“One month. I wanted to know more about humans, but those who went there didn’t talk to me at all or interacted with each other. I figured they were always like that.” 

Castiel laced his fingers between yours for a moment, not looking at you. He was thinking of the time you passed away from him, of your life among humans. 

“You must have felt lonely.” He whispered. 

“I did.” You squeezed his hand. “But I’m here now.” 

He smiled, passing his arm around you and hugging you gently. 

“I have you now.”


	11. All Mine (NSFW)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After one year together, you and Castiel make a decision.

You took your time with Castiel. Hunting with the Winchesters and protecting humans gave you something you never felt in thousands of years. For about 12 months, you learned more and more, and he stood by your side. After that day – before you got together – Castiel never mentioned your wings, neither saw them.

“Y/N?” You heard from him and looked up at him.

He took a breath, visually nervous, and you tilter your head in confusion.

“I want to ask you a question.” He started.

“Okay.”

Your partner stood up and held your hands, kneeling in front of you in the chair you sat.

“Will you be my mate?’ He gulped.

Your face fell for a moment. You never talked about it to each other.

“Are you sure?” You asked him.

“I do.”

You nodded quickly.

“Yes. Yes, of course.”

Leaning down, you kissed him on the lips, and Castiel pulled you up, teleporting to the room you shared.

“How does it work?” You asked eager.

He sat on the bed, pulling you to sat on his lap and circle his waist with your legs.

“We will join our graces.” He told you, caressing your skin. “They become one.”

Your eyes met his.

“Our wings will look the same.” Castiel continued. “I’ll be yours and you will be mine. We will never be alone again.”

“And how does it happen?”

He caressed the skin on your neck.

“In this forms, I need to bite you and break your skin.” He said hesitant. “And you will break mine.”

“And…”

Castiel just gave a look, and that informed it was you everything you needed to know.

In response, you leaned down, kissing his lips fully and circled his shoulders with your arms and he pulled you by your waist.

“Are you sure?” He asked in whispers.

“I do.” You nodded. “I do.”

Castiel squeezed you butt roughly, pulling and you moaned when you felt his half-erection between your legs.

“I’m gonna take you.” He whispered in _enochian_ against your lips, and your clothes were gone in a blink of an eye. “So hard…”

You moaned. With time, Castiel taught you things about sex you would never even imagine, and the thought of having him all around you made the body you lived in all tingly and hot.

“Castiel.” You gasped, feeling his scruff rubbing against your skin as he kissed the way down your neck to find your nipple.

“Y/N…” He moved your hips, and you both moaned when his thick shaft rubbed against your folds. “ _Dammit._ ”

His hand moved, and son his thumb circled your free nipple, twisting it in his fingers and tugging just enough to make you jerk your hips again, sending a wave of pleasure to both of you.

He tangled his fingers inside your hair and pulled it, making your head fall back, and his teeth met your exposed neck.

“Do you want me to bite you?” He teased you with his lips.

You moaned. With Castiel, you found out how you _loved_ to be bitten, and he was always very willing to give you what you needed.

You arched your back when you felt his teeth on your skin, biting with just enough force to mark you. He made his way to your shoulder and your collarbones, circling your neck with his mouth.

The wetness poured from between your legs with the motion and, without even noticing, you started grinding against him.

“You’re so wet.” He moved your hand to one of your ass cheeks and squeezing it hard. “I can feel your wetness dripping on me.”

You closed your eyes, your head still fallen back as he moved your hips harder against you. His erection rubbed against your clit with each movement you made.

“You think you can come just from this?” He asked in a low and rough whisper. “Just from me biting you and grinding against me?”

You couldn’t answer, just moaning shamelessly.  

Unable to control yourself, you felt the muscles on your back curled and your wings spread open in the room. Castiel’s eyes grew wide, sparkling in a mix of emotions as he gripped you harder.

“Can I touch them?” He looked inside your eyes and the intensity made your pant hard.

You nodded, out of words, and Castiel made a softly motion on the edge of your feathers. Instantly, a shiver ran on your back and you jumped against him again.

“Castiel.” You muttered.

In response, he ran his hands inside your wings. It felt like something you’ve never felt before, sending pleasure all over you.

“Harder.” You moaned.

Your hips started moving against him again, and you arched your back when he entered you all at once.

“Dammit.” He moaned. “So _good_ …”

You buried your fingers in his hair while he buried both his hands on your wings, sending you deeper and deeper into pleasure.

When he met the middles of your back – where your wings emerged from your skin –, you couldn’t control yourself, and came with a scream.

Cass groaned against your skin, thrusting his hips forward and through your orgasm. As soon as you came down, Castiel pulled himself away from you and put you on the bed, facing him, entering you again on a fast and hard pace. At the same time, his wings unfolded before you, long and black as you remembered them.

“So warm.” He groaned, leaning down and kissing the space between your breasts. “Squeezing me so hard, came just from me playing with those beautiful wings.

You were too deep inside the feeling to answer, and he pressed his chest against you.

“I’m gonna bite you.” He groaned against your ear. “Gonna mate you and make you all mine, is that what you want?”

“Yes.” You tug your hand between his feathers and he groaned, pushing harder against you.

The marks he had previously left on you were gone, and Castiel licked a long stripe on your immaculate neck.

His movements became slower, but deeper, and when his teeth broke the skin of your neck, you let out a loud moan, finding your peak again and instinctively burying your own teeth on his warm skin.

Other than feeling blood on your lips, you felt the moment your grace and his joined, both your bodies shaking hard in ecstasy. If could be taking an hour or seconds, but you didn’t even know how fast or slow time was passing. Your wings stretched larger than before, and – at the same moment you felt the seed your _now-_ mate spilled inside you, you felt the change inside you.

You lied in silence when it was over, none of you opening your eyes and breathing against each other.

You both opened your eyes at the same time. Your eyes widened for a moment when you saw the new colour and size of his previous wings.

They were navy blue now, sparkled with black, larger and stronger. You were different too. You felt like you needed Castiel before, but right now he was an _extension_ of you. It was like a he was a part of you outside your body.

“You’re mine.” You touched his cheek. “ _All mine_.”

Castiel leaned down, kissing you once again.

“You are mine.” He said against your lips.

His eyes drifted to your neck, and his finger traced the closed scar on your neck.

Yes, a scar.

“It won’t go away.” He looked inside your eyes. “It will stay as long as we keep the vessels.”

You looked at him in surprise.

“It will follow us forever. A physical symbol of us.”

You smiled at him, kissing his lips again.

“We’ll never be apart again.” You whispered at him.

“Never.” He agreed.

And it was everything you’ve ever wanted.


End file.
